


That's CAPTAIN colossal immature pain in my ass

by FoxEyes



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Bones sorts it out, Fluff, Glasses, Humour, Kirk wears glasses but is embarrassed, M/M, Romance, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sweetness, and. a., fangirling crew, it's short, kiss, sorry - Freeform, the incident with the octopus ice-cream is not to be explained, wellll.....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 01:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1623293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxEyes/pseuds/FoxEyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim's needed to wear glasses since he was younger, except he's an idiot and refuses to. But with a little help from an extremely annoyed CMO and a chase on the bridge, hopefully that will change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's CAPTAIN colossal immature pain in my ass

"That's CAPTAIN colossal immature pain in my ass!" Jim shouts, startling everyone as he comes bolting out of the turbolift and onto the bridge. He moves around Spock (and the pointy eared broccoli raises an annoyingly sculpted eyebrow as if to suggest Jim is being ridiculous. RUDE) and ducks behind Uhura, who's currently making the best I'm-going-to-kill-you-with-one-of-my-20-tonne-thesis's-detailing-Klingon-culture-and-dialect-for-interrupting-me face he's ever seen.

He ignores the look in favour of protecting himself.

"JIM!I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T DO WHAT I SAY RIGHT THIS MOMENT, THEN YOU'LL END UP IN THE MEDBAY FOR A WEEK!" A pissed looking Bones stomps in, expertly navigating past members of the bridge crew, who look like they gave up on being shocked at their captains antics years ago. Bones, ever the persistent man he is, marches straight past them and toward Jim who actually has the decency to look slightly afraid. 

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME, BONES!" He shouts equally as loud as the doctor, and twists around Uhura to avoid getting kidnapped by the psycho medic. 

"LIKE HELL I CAN'T! FAIR WARNING JIM, I HAVE ENOUGH HYPOSPRAY HERE TO IMMOBILIZE YOU A HUNDRED TIMES OVER!" He argues, waving an evil looking hypo spray in the air for emphasis, most definitely not relishing in the fact that Jims eyes widen comically as he does so.

By now, everyone on the bridge has stopped what they were doing and are watching amusedly as the CMO chases their captain around control panels, yelling and cursing every time he narrowly misses the blonde. And though they're clueless -yes, even Spock- as to what's going on, it's most definitely likely to be Jims fault, well, according to what the good doctor is saying. 

"JIM! THIS WILL BE A REPEAT OF THE OCTOPUS ICE-CREAM INCIDENT AGAIN IF YOU DON'T PUT TH-"

"OH MY GOD! THAT WAS ONE TIME!" Jim cries, flailing wildly as Bones makes a grab at him from across the navigation system. 

"IT WASN'T BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T ON THAT I ATE THAT STUFF! I just... took the opportunity to try culturally diverse foods... ?" He tries, ignoring the frustrated growl that Bones lets out. Honestly, he knows that he's just digging himself a deeper hole every time he opens his mouth to give honest and educated reasons (which, yes, he means lie) about why he shouldn't be forced to wear the stupid 21st century accessory, but in his defense he really just doesn't want to wear them, he looks funny. But it seems that Bones will NOT take no as an answer.

He narrowly avoids having to amputate his left arm instead of it being held onto by the CMO when Spock starts talking.

"Captain," he begins, "might I ask to what it is that you and the doctor are arg-"

"NO!" Jim panics and then rounds on Spock all too quickly to not be suspicious, "no, no, no. Definitely not, it's all good, s'all fin-" he's lucky to notice and duck as Bones hurls a holographic projector cube towards him. 

"DON'T THROW THINGS LEO! I'M NOT CHANGING MY MIND. IT'S A MONSTROCITY AND I REFUSE!" He wails pitifully and drops to the ground before rolling under a table to avoid the increasingly murderous looking Bones. 

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT! YOU SELF CONSCIOUS BUGGER!" 

"BONES!" Jim cries, annoyed that Bones would ever announce that for the entire bridge crew to hear, unfortunately for him though, everyone is staring at him with open mouths -because they honestly can't believe that Jim would ever actually be self conscious. 

Bones' lips just curl into a wicked grin.

"YOU'RE EMBARRASSED!" Bones announces between laughter, almost cooing, and Jim groans and hangs his head in his hands. Bones however just chuckles, grasping at his stomach. 

"Oh my gosh. This is priceless." Bones wipes at a tear falling from his eye, prompting Jim to whine more about the evil doctor who's threatening to destroy his entire existence. Because really, his CMO is absolutely evil, violating his personal space with malicious hypo sprays and other evil medical equipment and ugly earth accessories, designed for the sole purpose of tortu-

So deep in thought, he doesn't realise that Bones is in front of him until too late.

"Idiot." The doctor whispers and Jims hands snap away from his face and Bones gently presses his lips against his. He's shocked at first, as both Jim and Bones's relationship has just become public and they're still awkward about showing affection with other people around, but he finds that at the moment, he doesn't care. The kiss is quick, barely long enough for Kirk to respond, but long enough for Leo to distract him and get his message across. 

I love you, you idiot. 

And when Leo pulls away, Jim's too shocked to even realise that the CMO had actually distracted him just long enough to push a pair of thick framed glasses onto his face. 

"I present to you, Jim Kirk when he actually wears his glasses!" Bones bellows and everyone is grinning (read: laughing, cooing and clapping) at the couple before them. 

"MUTINY!" Jim shouts and tackles the hysterical Bones to the ground.

**Author's Note:**

> Based off this quote: http://lexicaltrap.tumblr.com/post/83715849921/thats-captain-colossal-immature-pain-in-the-ass


End file.
